I finally was able to get in touch with our facilitator. Again, we were unable to submit. It appears that our facilitator in Ukraine is still under the weather and her husband is trying to fill in for her. With the conditions at the SDA's office the way they are, it's not really time for a "newby" at the game to try their hand at submitting, although I appreciate their effort. Chances of us being able to submit this Monday are essentially none. At this point, it appears that we are going to have to wait the 2009 quota comes out and try to submit then. More that likely, it will be February of next year.
We are trying to stay upbeat about, yet again, another set back. We keep reminding ourselves that God knows what He is doing and that this time is meant for a reason. It could be that the slowing economy may really effect our family. My husband is in fear of loosing his job or facing a setback. He works for a brake producing company and they have had lay offs and "buy out" options that have effected many of the more "seasoned" workers there. Overtime has been cut out for the factory and no new employees are being brought in due to the unknown circumstances of the "Big 3" in Detroit's government assistance. As they return to work after there week-long shut down during Thanksgiving, he will begin working weekends. Maybe the wait is for the best, seeing as how traveling at this time may be difficult for us financially.
I am finding it more and more difficult as the holidays near to stay happy. I think of our kid(s) in Ukraine during the holidays. I can't wait to spend this time with them, to create memories and share in traditions. It is so very, very hard to continue to wait. Wait, Wait, Wait. This month makes 15 months that we have been at this process. Two months to compile our dossier, 5 months waiting on our USCIS approval, and the rest of the time simply waiting to submit.
We are really facing a challenge with this decision. Should we hold off pursuing an adoption, should we look into another country, continue pushing hard as ever with our Ukrainian adoption, what to do know? How do you know when you've put all the effort into pursuing something that you can? Are all these delays a sign that we should try again latter? When should you give up or start from scratch? We have prayed hard about this decision. Maybe God's not ready for us to parent, perhaps He has something else in mind.
I do not wish to portray myself as fussing, complaining about the wait. I know the payoff will be wonderful, when it actually happens. I, as well as Jim Bob, feel confused. I wish the answer was flashing in bright lights out my window. Wouldn't that make everything so much easier?!
I realize there is still a chance the size of a micro-organism that we could push through the SDA's lines next Monday and submit our dossier. That would be the next best Christmas gift for me, aside from having our kid(s) home. I will shout it from the roof tops next Monday if that happens!! Everyone will know! So, I'm going to hold on to that tiny glimmer of hope until the actual day comes. Lord, give me strength. I will also be praying that all the families who will be spending the holidays in Ukraine make safe journey. I will rejoice in the news that you have your kids in hand and pray that court goes smoothly for you. Oh, what a blessing it will be!!
So we will continue to pray and look forward to seeing our loved ones on Thanksgiving along with friends and god-children from out of state. That can turn any frown upside down!! Also, I started a friendship cake yesterday. This is the cake that, if your lucky enough to have left-over "friendship juice", takes 30 days to make (at least 60 days if you are without starter juice). It's a wonderful cake my aunt used to make and has since become my holiday dinner tradition, loved especially by my brother-in-law. That will keep me busy stirring it everyday and adding my new fruits when needed.
(What a crazy turn this post took....)
8 comments:
Oh Conethia,
I'm so sorry to hear that you must wait another week for information. I will pray that you hear good news next week! You are so deserving!!
I can understand your questioning. I do not think that God is telling you not to adopt, but maybe he is telling you to reconsider the country you've selected. Maybe you could use the next few weeks to talk to various agencies about your adoption plans. Especially since you are so open to the number of children and their ages. I would guarantee that you could find an agency that would be able to find a child quickly in Russia or another Eastern European country. Have you ever considering a waiting child/children? Since you are willing to adopt siblings up to the age of 7 (I think), I bet there are children waiting at various agencies that are as cute as pie that have minor needs or none and are waiting due to their ages.
Don't give up....you began this journey for a reason and God has big plans!! If you would like to talk about Russian agencies or waiting child programs, call me!! You know that I LOVE to talk about adoption!! :o)
I continue to pray for you guys. Have you ever considered trying another facilitator? I really do feel for you.
I'm delurking to tell you to not give up!!! My husband and I were in the process for 36 months and 14 days till our court date finally arrived. We went to Russia and had trial after trial, but it has all been worth it! We now have two children....a girl, age 3...and a boy, age 2. We just brought them home in July. God will work it all out in His time. Hang in there and don't give up hope!!!
Jody Garber (jjgarber03@yahoo.com)
Still praying for a miracle on Monday! I know about road blocks and delays...don't understand all of the "whys". One good advice we hung unto during our last adoption was "Do not doubt in the dark, what God has shown you in the light". Go until you know beyond a doubt that God says something else. He is not a God of confusion!
It is very frustrating to be waiting like this. And to have such an utter lack of control. Whatever happens, make the most of your time. Really, Feb. will be here in a blink. It just seems longer when you're anxious! I truly hope JB's job holds up. These are uncertain times. Jesus is our rock.
Thanks for the update and so glad you poured your heart out. That can be so theraputic! May God bless next Monday and may His grace be with you NO MATTER WHAT!
We haven't heard anything yet either...Feb seems like such a looooong time! I heard myself telling people today that our adoption might happen in 2009 (before I was saying "most likely"). Sometimes it feels like I'm walking through a big jar of peanut butter in a room that echos with a ginormous slowly ticking clock reminding me every second that I am childless.
I know how you feel about doubting God's direction for your life. Dave and I have been through that once already, and I have a feeling it won't be the last time. What I do is take a step back from my life, look at my circumstances and how God has provided thus far. For us, He has made it clear that the Ukraine is where we should adopt from. I'll pray God gives you clear direction in the adoption process.
I also understand how you feel about your husband's job. We're in Metro Detroit, so we're right in the thick of things. My husband works for a tier 3 supplier, so we've been watching the Big 3 very closely for many years. Our home has depreciated by more than $50,000 since 2005, so pulling money out of a home equity was never an option. So we were depending on pulling out money from our 401K if we needed it. We've been reluctant to look at our 401K...we finally did...WOW! We've lost 67%...(Deep breath...). So that's looking like it's more out of the question.
Our questions were How in the world will we pay for this adoption?!?! Should we proceed? What are our options? And God proved faithful again. As I prayed about what to do, He brought to my mind all the ways He has provided thus far for our adoption. And He reminded me that everything in the earth is His. If He can provide water for the Israelites out of a rock in the desert, He can certainly provide for me! He doesn't run out of resources. So, I know God will provide financially somehow, in His timing, according to His will. Do you think He would plant a money tree in my backyard? I'd be willing to share!
I am so sorry for yet another delay. I was just reading the first chapter of James this morning--talking about perseverence, testing of faith, joy in trials, wisdom from God. Maybe this chapter would be a blessing to you, too? I will pray that God makes his will absolutely clear. Personally, though, my gut instinct is to say, don't quit pursuing until you can't pursue any more. But God will make it clear to YOU what you need to do.
Joy
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