Time is quickly approaching for us. February 26th is just around the corner. We have meet two other couples that will be in Ukraine during the same time so we hopefully will be able to meet for a quick introduction and a "taste of home" while we are overseas.
We have collected everything we can possibly think of (any other suggestions welcomed) for the trip and all the possible wrong things that could happen. We have topical, tab, and liquid forms of Phenergan for all forms of sickness, sleeping pills, fever reducer, Lamotil for ALL other forms of sickness, migraine pills, etc. We were trying to cover all ends, pardon the pun.
We are also working on "passing the time" items once we get our kid(s). We have stuffed toys, play d'oh, Lego's, cars, tons of books and crayons, an instant camera for them to play with, and we are taking Disney dvd's with us. We also have some card games and Beverly Hillbillies disks for us to chill with on the rare moments we find ourselves with nothing to do.
Now for the question. For those of you who have experienced adopting overseas, did you find it necessary to arrange for a medical evaluation before you agreed to adopt? I mean, did you hire a doctor to go with you to the orphanage or did you call your doctor at home with the results so they could give you a quick run through of all the ailments? This is a question that I know is bugging some of us. Many of the international adoption programs that offer such services require such large fees, especially if you go into the program "blind". I am thinking how can they give you an accurate description by just reading the form provided? I would love to hear your opinions on this. We look at this as God already has our kiddos picked out for us and He wouldn't place more on us than we can handle, so why waist the money and time waiting to hear back from such services?! Then also, what if our first references are not "the" references and we are not reading our signs right? I may be over analyzing this aspect. This issue is kind of stuck in my mind. I really believe that once we see and get to know our kid(s), we wouldn't turn them down anyway. Comments...?
15 comments:
I've heard there's an American dr there that will go with you to see the child, but I'm not sure of his name or any info. Dave and I plan on getting a medical eval. We don't want to walk in to anything without knowing as much as we possibly can. The biggest issue you'll have to worry about is Fetal Alcohol, and ADHD. There are physical symptoms associated with FAS, and children can exhibit some signs of ADHD in how they interact. Personally I think it's well worth it. Even if you choose to adopt a child after knowing his/her medical issues, you're more prepared to come home and start making calls and gathering information to proceed with caring for your child's needs.
We are going throught the same thing right now. We have been in contact with a doctor that specializes in international adoptions (he has been through the process himself). Our thoughts is that if we are visiting "healthy" child, we will probably use our "gut" more than anything. If we have any concerns, we will be able to rely on this doctor. For example, if we suspect FAS, this doctor will be able to make a better "guess" using a picture that we send to him. He has asked us to get a history of "head size" if it is available to us. This will tell him if the head is both a normal size and developing at a normal rate, which can indicate issues that may be a result of drugs or alchohol. I guess the question you have to ask yourself is if you had this information, would it impact your decision. His diagnosis will simply be "average risk," "moderate risk," "high risk." Even he will say that he probably will not have a black and white answer for you.
The fee is $150 for one child. You can email me if you would like to know more, but it sounds like you have some doctors in mind.
Why in the heck would you want to pass the time? Soak up Ukraine! After visint with your child walk around the orphange grounds, heck, just walk walk walk. There is so much to see-- and you only get this chance or until next time! Go down every aisle in the super market, people watch! We didn't take cards, books, DVD's, or anything and the time went so quickly and I can't wait to go back! Just my opinion.
We never hired one. It would not have changed the outcome because unless my child had a terminal illness we were going to adopt them no matter what. My daughter had unrepaired CL/CP we took her to a local oral hospital just to get their opinion about her cleft.
You can go see a local doctor in the region you do not necessarily need to pay for a specialist. They can do the same thing if you have any questions for a very minimal fee.
We didn't do that but we went with a different situation than yours - praying this issue is settled for you in your minds according to your unique situation as well. :)
As for time passing, you should brign some things since you're going in winter - we wanted to soak in Ukraine and walked every inch of that town, but some days it was just too darn cold/windy to walk so we were stuck indoors with only Russian tv. Movies, books, LAPTOP with internet - all lifesavers on those days. :)
Hi Conethia and Jim Bob!
I am in Kiev right now awaiting my appointment tomorrow morning. Pretty much freaking out would be the best way to describe my feelings right now. I don't know about the medical issues, because our child is known and he appears to be relatively healthy with no signs of ADHD or FAS. Right now it is about 30 degrees or so. I don't know what area of the country you live in, but I'm from south TX, by way of Pittsburgh (Go Steelers!) and NY, so, even though it is a little chilly and windy, it's not really long john weather here right now, if you ask me. I would bring warm clothes that you can layer or unlayer as needed. The one thing that affected me more than anything else is the overwhelming feeling of homesickness I had almost immediately when I got here.
Gotta go call my husband now via Skype.
Natalie
TX
www.adoptyaroslav.blogspot.com
Some families choose to hire the services of Dr. Yuri - you can read about him at frua.org and probably get his contact info there. We went blind, and we did not hire a doctor. We did talk to our own physician about obvious things to look for, and read and learned about FAS, RAD, etc. And our facilitators (here and in Ukraine) told us about certain terms that should be considered serious, and others that were used on a lot of institutionalized children. Like developmentally delayed: what child wouldn't be developmentally delayed? That was one of the labels on our son. But while he was a little behind, we came home with a very healthy 5 1/2 year old. We've been home just over a year now, and he's caught up to all the kids his age in most every area.
Hi Conethia,
We had information prior to our trip, so we had it evaluated by a doctor in Nashville (call if you want his name). I think the initial review was $75. Once in Russia, we tried to connect with him, but it was hard getting a timely response. I think waiting for information from home is an added stress during your time overseas (time differences, etc.). I would recommend using someone local if you feel that you want to have someone evaluate your child/ren. Again, I think this is a personal decision.
I cannot believe that you will be leaving in less than 3 weeks! I've been meaning to call you this week. I've been sick and we are planning for a birthday party this weekend.
Talk to you soon-
We met with Dr. Yuri in Kiev. He gave pretty general information that you have probably already accessed on medical diagnoses over there. One thing he said that still bothers me was to avoid any orphange that had the word "special" in it because the children there have special needs. We adopted one known child and went blind on our other referral. The known child we requested was in CO last summer as part of a cultural exchange camp, along with 7 other kids from an internat with the label "special school" in the title. I can tell you that these were awesome kids. Normal orphanage delays, but no special needs. Our son was the FIRST international adoption, and our facilitator said it was because it had the word "special" in the internat name. It still breaks my heart because 98% of the kids we met at this orphanage were healthy, and they have even less of a chance of being adopted because of that label. I am neither for or against hiring a doctor in Ukraine, but I wanted to tell you our experience with a special school. Don't let that frighten you.
We have adopted four times and have split the difference.
When we adopted Alek in '99 we were young and naive. We didn't consult anyone but our pediatrician-to-be, who had absolutely NO clue. Everything turned out fine.
With Anya and Nick in '02, we were seasoned veterans. We hired Dr. Dana out of Minneapolis to take a look at the video we brought back from Russia. He gave us some good insight and really just relieved our minds. We had already fallen in love with the kids, so it was just nice to have confirmation that everything was fine.
With Maddie, '08 Ukraine, we were prepared to use Dr. Yuri, but for some reason when it came to actually traveling to meet her it came so fast the subject of Dr. Yuri never came up. We went, met her, fell in love and brought her home without discussing it with ANYONE! :) Maddie has some medical issues, which we knew about, understood and were prepared to handle. She is an absolute joy.
All of this to say, it depends on your comfort level. If you would feel better having Dr. Yuri go with you to give his opinion I would say its worth the fee. We also called our pediatrician once or twice to ask questions about some of the children we were presented at the SDA. He answered some questions and gave us some things to look for when we were meeting the kids so we could have an idea of how serious their conditions were.
We also had the added benefit of Shad being a veterinarian and being familiar with many of the medical terms and conditions. It never ceases to amaze me how often that degree comes in handy! :)
I have adopted twice, one child the first time and three children the second and we did not use anyone and never felt led to. It would not have changed the outcome of our decision, unless there would have been a night/day difference to what the SDA had told us. Following other stories and educating myself via the internet, I felt comfortable.
Stefanie
Hey you two - our appoitment is on 2/26 as well!!! I found your blog through Felix and Heidi's blog, sorry... We're scheduled for 10 am - maybe we will even see each other that day! You can e-mail me at natasha@betaspace.net; our blog is at www.ry-ky.com.
As for the doctor check ups...Here's my point of view - I hope I don't come across rude though... We have two biological kids; our first one has special needs, the second one doesn't. We "ordered" the check ups, if you will, like the ultrasound when I was pregnant; which showed us nothing. In fact, I didn't notice anything until he was a couple of months old...Ryan is 10 years old now and he still doesn't have a diagnose, other than ADD and a possibility of a mild Cerebral Palsy. Does God give us things to overcome for a reason - you bet ya! And let me tell you...some days seemed like it was more than I could handle; but in the end we've got a gorgeous 10 year old that has been such a delight to everyone around him and I can't thank God enough for bringing him into our life. :)
We won't be ordering any medicals while we're there; as you can see from our experience, sometimes no doctor can tell you what the child really needs, other than someone to love on them every single day! :)
Hope to meet you there!
Natasha
Oh, yeah, one more thing; actually a question for everyone: when we get pregnant, do we "order up" a child without any kind of needs, whether it is special needs or other things that happen in life? I guess we can ask all we want, but in the end God is the One Who gives us what He knows we need...anyway, not trying to talk you out of anything, just my kind of thinking.
God Bless,
Natasha
We did some research on FAS and ADHD before we left so we had a "general " idea of what to look for.....but honestly, the moment I saw her, I knew she was meant for us. Turned out, she did (does) have severe hearing loss in both ears...which we didn't realize until we got home. She had a bad infection at the time, which we assumed was the cause. But I wouldn't change a thing!! You'll just know. Good Luck!
As far as passing the time, we were there in the winter too. It's beautiful, just bring plenty of warm clothes and explore! Take as many pictures as you can...of everything cause you'll want to remember every detail...right down to what the bathrooms looked like!!! Enjoy your adventure!!!
I have no advice, but I'm so excited for you as you prepare to travel! Hooray!
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