Finally, Internet Access....

How shut off from the world do you feel when you are without internet? A lot has happened over the past 5 days, but I have been writing. Here we go...

Sunday March 1, 2009

I Brought My Shorts For The Train…

….did not need them. We arrived in Kharkiv by train at 6:21am. The train ride was actually not that bad. We had heard the horror stories of the train rides. The cabins are very hot with fold flat beds, not cushioning to speak of. The smoke seemed to make passenger’s eyes water. It filled the entire train. We were in a newer train (luckily) that had air conditioning and heat in each of the first and second class cabins. We traveled in a second class car with our facilitator Victor. He is a nice, quite guy. Our cabins were even smoke free. I really did appreciate the fact that I actually got chilly on the early morning train ride.

Kharkiv is older than Kiev, and not as well kept. The city is run down and dirty, very American I think, but it still has some spectacular views. The one from the window in the flat we are staying in currently highlights the golden domes and a very old Catholic Church. We hope to venture into the church in our spare time, but we may be moving depending on the meeting with Ruslan tomorrow. This particular apartment, although a two bedroom with two balconies (it is very nice), it doesn’t have internet and I am going crazy not being connected to the world. I can’t imagine spending the better part of a month without my connection.

Oh, did I mention that the driving stories you have been told are true! People drive where ever they have an open spot to dart in front of someone. Most of them could be nascar drivers. And then there is the parking. People park their vehicles on the sidewalk, in the median, or in the middle of a three-lane road. Moma, you would love to drive over hear. They pass one another like crazy, busses and all.

We did venture to a large open market after a quick, and well deserved, lunch. The open market is an experience. You can buy anything there, except a map of Kharkiv! The meat market is everything everyone has said it is. Partially frozen fish, sausages, and dead pig everywhere, right out in the open 28 degree air! Not to mention the birds flying around overhead! It is an open market. So many things go on here on a daily basis that Americans would never tolerate. Oh, and the septic line leading from the toilet is nothing but a dryer vent, plastic and all!! (You were right Carey V.)

So tomorrow we will meet the chief inspector of the orphanage, discuss Ruslan’s file, and then schedule a time to meet with him. Praying for things to go well.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Preparing To Meet Ruslan….

This morning we meet with the inspector and was granted permission and well wishes to visit Ruslan. We did learn that his mother had nine pregnancies and never registered Ruslan with the hospital. We also learned that he has symptoms of asthma and an “extra wall” on his heart, which we were guaranteed was not a problem. A total of 15 minutes. Then we were told the orphanage does not have a full time doctor due to the cut backs being made as a result of the economic downtime. We would have to wait until 3 pm to go visit with Ruslan so that the doctor could come translate his file and he could nap.

So, “home” we went to wait until 3. So many thoughts are in our minds but not really anxiety or nervousness. I wonder if God is preparing us for something? Will this meeting be the perfect one, or is there something else He is trying to get us ready for?

Until 3……

We’ve Meet Ruslan….

We have returned from meeting with Ruslan with heavy hearts. I have always asked myself what could make a couple turn away from a referral? I believe I now know. It is not an easy decision for perspective parents to make. Remember, their hearts are on the line the whole time concerning themselves with what is best for their families and what is best for the child.

We arrived at the orphanage at 3:30 to meet with the doctor and director. Both were extremely friendly and helpful to “warn” us of any conditions that may be a problem. They began by declaring that Ruslan was “unexpected” and that he does have 9 siblings. His father officially filed to be removed from the birth record for him. He was taken away from his mother once the officially found that she had been saving her money instead of buying medicines for Ruslan. We were told that he had symptoms of asthma, but again, the condition was not asthma. Then the big hit. Ruslan was diagnosed in February of this year with a “severe mental delay”!! My heart fell!

We decided to meet him anyway. We had came all this way and thought “ya know, maybe they are blowing the situation out of proportion.” We know that doctors here “over diagnose” these kids just in case, to cover all their symptoms. We were lead into his room, not a room with only him, but every child in his “groupa” was there having snack. We spent a little one on one time with Ruslan, trying to satisfy him, to grab his attention. We took a long moment to gather our thoughts while all the other kids in the groupa danced, hugged, and loved on us, Ruslan just turning circles in a corner. As Jim Bob stepped into the hall to collect himself, I told our translator we were ready to go.

That’s it. It was extremely difficult yet we knew the answer deep in our hearts. We officially state tomorrow at nine that we decline to proceed with Ruslan’s adoption. The one thought of comfort in this situation is that the caregivers there truly cared for these kids. You can tell that in their eyes. They each have nicknames and respond well to one another. And these kids, as tiny as they are compared to the height of the kids at home, were “spoiled.” I believe one blogger said it best “chunk-o-liscious”. To come just above my knee, Ruslan had to weigh 30 pounds!! The entire time we were there, the caregivers were feeding him (and the others) candies from their coats.

Now we head back to Kiev to request a second visit. We know Ruslan was not meant for us, but still feel for the kids. Please pray for all these kids and the caregivers who see over them. Hopefully within 10 days, at our next appointment, we will meet the one or ones who should come home with us. Thanks for the prayers. We totally need them and appreciate them all (even though I am still without internet, I know there are many well wishes awaiting us.)


Thursday, March 5, 2009

Back At The Beginning…

We are back in Kiev. We arrived by train on Tuesday night. We were meet by Yuri and the train station and brought back to the same street, different apartment, to wait on our second appointment. Again, we have been so lucky as to not have a working internet connection. Tip to prospective parents preparing to travel to Ukraine, ask if there is anyway you can rent or borrow a People Net connection while in country. That is the only way you can guarantee you’ll have internet access.

We did go yesterday and have some final papers notarized so that we could re-file with the SDA for a second appointment. It was turned in yesterday evening so now all we have to do is wait for our next referral. Monday is a holiday here in Ukraine and much of Europe. It’s National Women’s Day so all government offices will be closed. The quickest we could have our next appointment granted would be Tuesday of next week, making a full two weeks we’ve been in country. Aaaaaahhhhh, we are making the most of the 6+ weeks predicted to be in country.

So, now we are just walking around seeing what sights we can. We have mastered the point and smile form of ordering. Another hint, “cheeseburger and coca-cola” are universal terms. “Pizza” is right in there as well. We have been tearing up the supermarkets we find. Every store seems to have security guards standing throughout the stores watching for shoplifters, I guess. Or Americans! (ha ha). Every store we go in it seems that we are followed. I don’t know if they are trying to help us find things or if they don’t trust us. Usually when we go to pay for what we want, they are at the registers. Yesterday at a “high end” produce store (or so that’s what we were told it was) we were at the register paying and Bob was trying to bag the items (you bag your own groceries if you didn’t know). He was putting the eggs under the coke so I quickly grabbed the bag and made it right, putting the heavy things on bottom and so on. The security guard began laughing and said “she’s good”. The cashier thought it was the funniest thing. Don’t let them fool you, most Ukrainians we have encountered understand basic English and concepts. We usually do our best to say “spasiba” when someone helps us and to our surprise we get “thank you” in return.

The weather has been beautiful here for the past couple of days. Bright and sunny, none of that dreary weather in Kiev. We even have some english-speaking channels on the TV. We can’t wait for our next referral. Hopefully, this one will work out and we can spend most of our days playing with our kid(s).

Thanks for staying tuned…..